Some people have tried to give Love, many others have tried to write it too, but this piece right here (below), gives Peace to Love and direction to us, so we can call it a classic. And if this doesn’t set you straight, I doubt anything will.

“Love Redefined” was written by a friend of mine “Jayde Okoli” (on Instagram), Lovely Spirit, Happy Mind. It’s the perfect sequel to my last post “Love, Like Never Before!“. Let’s see how she redefines Love.

But before that, a sneak peek into one of the greatest scenes of Love (known to this generation, so of course it’s not “Romeo & Juliet”). This was rather a set of people that defined the term “Relation-SHIP” (you’ll get it soon), any guesses? It’s JACK & ROSE (from Titanic) of course…

Love Redefined

“So growing up, back in primary school I believe, my classmates gave a definition of love which read… 

“Love is a feeling you think you’re feeling when you feel you’re feeling a feeling, which you feel like you’ve never felt before.”

This definition definitely sent chills down my spine then. I loved it so much that it literally stuck in my head and I could (and still can) recite it while asleep. Lol!

But over the years, I’ve come to realize that as cool as this definition sounds, it’s really flawed!

It’s Flawed mainly because it’s all centered on a word that can be likened to a volatile substance (yeah, volatile substance from chemistry, Lol) called FEELING.

Feelings are good, amazing in fact!

The euphoria, the goose bumps,the popular ‘butterflies in my tummy” feeling are the popular things most people use to define feeling (love)

Feeling can coexist with love but Love is ultimate and superior

Why? Love is A choice! Some say it’s an emotion but well, it’s first a choice before it’s an emotion.

Feelings being fickle CANNOT be trusted…

Love can be chosen over and over… Feelings well, are situational most times.

I can feel like spending time with my best friend today and then few days later, I’m like “Arrgghh I just need my space to breath and sort out stuff”.

My best friend’s key love language apparently is ‘quality time’ (lol, not even in any way similar to mine) but then How would I prove that I love her? By choosing to spend time with her anyways (though I actually do not feel like it)
Steven Covey said in one of His books, precisely “Habits of Highly effective Families” and I quote; 

“Always act out or choose love, your feelings will catch up with your decision afterwards” (Paraphrased)

Feelings can vanish or even begin to fluctuate once you get to slowly see people’s flaws, but then again;

My CHOOSING to offer regular doses of respect, care, support and the likes REGARDLESS of anyone’s flaws through my words and actions is Love!

LOVE isn’t a feeling, it’s a choice.

Love is a daily choice.

Love is a deliberate choice.

Love is proven by calculated actions (usually towards the good of the recipient)

Love is Giving (not just material things) but majorly your heart and time.

Love is choosing to put yourself on the line for another.

Love is forgiving.

Love is making assumptions for others.

Love is caring.

Love is sacrificing for another.

Love is persevering for the sake of another’s good or gain.

People can second guess your feelings because well, they’re volatile and pretty much unstable but you see, Love can’t be second guessed.

Love would always be spotted even in the midst of a thousand feelings from different angles and sources.
Love is just that distinct, It stands OUT!

It’s different yet so viable!
They say those who love the hardest are the most predisposed to hurt and abuse but in my opinion, those are the strongest and bravest.

These ones see people’s flaws, they weigh the possibilities of being hurt by these inadequacies but they CHOOSE to love regardless. That, in my opinion, is Strength!
And you may ask, what if people take me for granted? What if I don’t receive the same quantum of love and care that I dish out to people? My answer is: “It’s ok my darling”, I can guarantee you, that would be the case sometimes/ most times but if you were brave enough to choose love, I believe you can equally choose wholeness and fulfillment over any hurt whatsoever that would come”
And the effect of choosing to love hard regardless of whatever? My goodness! That choice as hard as it may seem would grow you!!! Mentally, Emotionally, Psychologically and Socially especially.
You start to realize that a heart which was once all gloomy gradually begins to open up.

You grow to find fulfillment in God’s love for You and His words over You. And You get to lavishly give love to others out of the abundance of this (unconditional and selfless) love.

You grow to be emotionally healthy, emotionally independent (maybe not completely but to a reasonable extent) yet with the ability to give love and to receive love without restrictions or reservations.
The world awaits your love!

There’s so much hurt lurking in people’s hearts that your love can heal.

Everyone Needs healing… We All Need Healing.

Love is the perfect medicine for hurt.”


7 thoughts on ““LOVE REDEFINED”

  1. “LOVE isn’t a feeling, it’s a choice.

    Love is a daily choice.

    Love is a deliberate choice.”
    This part got me the most. It’s a choice. It’s not something that “just happens”, it happened because you wanted it to.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “LOVE isn’t a feeling, it’s a choice.

    Love is a daily choice.

    Love is a deliberate choice.”
    This part got me the most. It’s a choice, not something that ‘just happens’. It happens because we allow it to.
    Then, there’s the case of reciprocity; in as much as the rule “Do unto others what you want them do unto you” stands a principle, we don’t always get what we give out in return. And it’s simply because we are humans not computers ( remember the garbage in garbage out ?). Humans are full of flaws, but being able to see all that flaw, and still love unconditionally, is a choice and the most beautiful way to get some peace and sanity in a world filled with strife, anger and vengeance.
    Beautiful write-up Jayde.👍😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awesome feedback, thanks a lot for that insightful perspective. Ama go look for who to Love unconditionally now… 🏃🏽🏃🏽🏃🏽


      1. Lol.
        You better! 😊😍


  3. La_teefah😘 March 5, 2018 — 08:55

    Way to go girl! Beautiful write up. I have gotten a new view of the word ‘love’. Big 👍🏼


  4. Awwww.makes you start wondering if youve been loving “the right way”….
    Lovely write up by the way…
    Keep writing jayde !!


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